Bat Country

Last night was very nice :)

But I do kinda like you.

If only it were reality.

but do you know who I’ll miss most when I move out?

My cat, Sterling.

She’s been by my side since the fifth grade. Always at the front window waiting till I got home from school. Always keeping my pillow warm while I’m gone for the weekend or on vacation. Always meowing to my mother that she misses me on my long absenses. Always coming to ME when I call her name. Always so loving when I’m down. Waking me up when I sleep half the day away. Always awake with me for late night gaming. Always sleeping in with me the next day.

It really pains me that I’m leaving her. She’s my best friend. I’ve never had a better relationship with any creature in the world.

And even now she’s curled up at my feet, dreaming away, and one day she’ll wake up… And I won’t be here anymore.

It’s gonna break her heart… And mine.

intheworldweknow:

Maybe one of these days i will start a good california blog that isnt shit like the rest of these “california” blogs.

For years now ive been saving myself from things that could kill me. Its so hard to say no to my thoughts. So hard to convince myself that I don’t need these things. And when I’m with friends I joke about getting “stuff” but in reality, I might not be joking. And they joke around and say they’re down and I use that, as my crutch, to get away from it.

intheworldweknow:

i dont know what i want

i dont know what i need

i dont know whats good or bad

i dont know whats good for me.

I woke up to the oddest feeling. Almost like all of reality is off center. Nothing feels right. I feel very misplaced. I don’t like this feeling. It’s almost like I don’t belong.

I actually cried on my drive home tonight…
Not a lot, cause I changed my thoughts.
But I don’t think you know just how much I care about you already.

1. Get out of bed
2. Mow the lawn
3. Work out
4. Shower, shit, shave.
5. Get ready for the day
6. Go to bestbuy again(?)
7. Go to pool party
8. Howl at the moon

Almost done with my day.

Focus.
The world is leaving you behind.

I’m never gonna make it.
I’ll be dead in a second.
I should drop my dreams now
And think of something more realistic.